Clandestine R&D


You surely must be unaware that two of bicycling technology's giants (and my favourite sponsors) have pooled their research and development budgets to produce this secret weapon. It is astride this beautiful machine that I, Jan "Der Kaiser" Ullrich, shall return from retirement to finally show that imperialist schweinhund Armstrong just how strong I am, by winning the 2010 Tour de France. With it's 7 gears, 3 brakes (2 caliper, 1 hub), and superlightweight aerodynamic construction, I have managed to shave 30 seconds off my 15km TT route from Sassnitz to Ostseebad Binz, on the island of Rugen, my secret training ground near my hometown of Rostock. Of course I have to firstly thank Bjarne who is delighted with my progress and is confident of my victory, but final honours must go to Campagnolo and Pinarello for their masterwork, the Camporello.

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